Spring Blues

Walking the streets at night, bathed in light bulbs' shine.
Listening to birds' songs above the roofs, as I don't lift my head.
Wandering through the city park, seeing lovers drinking love's sweet wine.
"It's only you, who is alone." I think and hope seems to be dead.

Engagement, gentle and deep kisses, mateship.
And me standing here, feeling not even a friend by my side.
Smiling peoples' faces hitting me like a whip.
I try to close my eyes, but they keep being opened just too wide.

"Maybe you think too much" I try to tell myself,
Thinking so lowly about this unknown thing called love,
I always wanted to find my inner center - was that bad for my health?
Just to complete my misery I see two mating doves.

Time has come to ask god one thing, so I lift my head:
Do I have to be so lone and if, please tell me why!
God doesn't seem to respond, tears turn my face wet.
I face backward to my parents' house and wish I would die.

Beginning of 2002
-Pilgrim

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